Elements, Rituals & Traditions
Elements include but are not limited to rituals and activities such as readings, musical interludes, songs or poetry performed by the participants, joining of the sands, handfasting, tying of the knot, and family threading.
READINGS
One of the most popular and traditional elements are readings to enhance the couples' intentions or the sanctity of the ceremony. Traditional readings may include biblical verses and more contemporary readings often include passages by Kahlil Gibran and other poets.
MUSICAL PERFORMANCES & INTERLUDES
Music can enhance any experience as it intensifies emotion. Some couples opt to include musical interludes providing opportunity for reflection, other couples include performances by friends or loved ones, and some couples include music signifying favorite experiences or memories.
UNITY CANDLE
The lighting of the unity candle reflects the couples' transition from individual status to the married union. It is utilized in most traditional Christian ceremonies.
HANDFASTING
Handfasting has its roots in Celtic tradition and is commonly used in Pagan or more contemporary ceremonies. It provides an opportunity for the couple to identify their intention to step into the union of marriage freely and completely and their desire to bind their lives together. As specific vows are recited, cords or pieces of fabric are wrapped around their entwined hands.
TYING OF THE KNOT
The tying of a Fisherman's knot reflects the creation of the strongest bond. The knot represents the couples' union, one that will not break in times of stress and will only grow stronger under tension. Individual cords representing the past lives of the individuals are fastened together into a sturdy knot. It is the goal of marriage to achieve a blending of hearts and lives, but like the spaces between these cords formed by the knot, there must be space in marriage for the growth of each party.
FAMILY THREADING
A contemporary ritual for reflecting the union of the entire family, especially with blended families, is family threading. During the process, a single thread or piece of yarn is fastened first around the groom's wrist, then cut and fastened around the bride's wrist, then cut and fastened around any other family members being incorporated into the new union.
TREASURE CHEST
The incorporation of the wedding treasure chest is a newer tradition. Family members or guests are invited to come up and make an offering, first verbally then by physically placing an item into a treasure chest. The contents of the chest remind the couple of all the gifts and support bestowed on them by their friends and family.
BLENDING OF THE SANDS
In honor of the commitment that the couple makes to one another on the day of their wedding, this ceremony symbolizes the special union by having the couple blend different sands together.
The first step in this ritual is to honor the foundation which has been laid- by the couple’s families, friends, communities, and faith.
In a special container, the couple places some special stones or objects to represent their core values: for example, unconditional love, well-being, adventure, connection or growth.
The second step in the ritual is for the officiant to pour a scoop of sand from the area in which the couple is being married or even from a beach that is special to them, to represent the foundation of community and faith, and to provide a reminder of the place where they have experienced deep love for one another.
In the third step of the ritual, the bride and groom pick up two containers of sand which represent all that each has been, that each is, and that each is becoming. Each container of sand holds its own unique beauty, strength, and character. They can stand on their own and be whole, without the need of anything else. When the two are blended together they represent an entirely new and extraordinary relationship. Each grain of sand brings to the mixture a lasting beauty that forever enriches the combination.
The couple is then instructed to pour the sands into the vessel together. As the sands are blended together, the couple is encouraged to recognize that the lives that each has experienced until this point, individually, will hereafter be inseparably united, as the two shall become one. Just as the grains of sand can never be separated and returned again into their individual containers, so will the marriage be.